A Question of Peers
One of the most common reasons I hear for why people choose private over public schools is that they want their children to have “peers.” Now I will readily admit that I don’t want Braedan to be the only white kid in his class, any more than I would want him to be the only boy in his class. Being the “only” anything is lonely and isolating. Just ask the only woman in the office, the only black student in the school, the only gay guy on the sports team — it’s not easy.
But that being said, we all still need to look carefully at what we mean by that word: peers. Is it really only those who look like our own kids? Can’t they have peers, actual social or academic equals, who are otherwise different from them? Now there is no denying that there are a lot of children in the CH-UH schools who are very poor, often black, ill-prepared for learning, and living with parents who may be uneducated and disengaged from their kids’ education. This is a sad reality. Many of these children will, unfortunately, never be the academic peers of my own children. But they are still good children, with open hearts and big dreams, with that magic word in education: potential, and they too deserve the best possible educational experience.
Then there is another cohort of black children in our schools raised by mostly middle class educated parents who will no doubt be the academic peers — or superiors — of my children. Redefining who our peers are, or who our children’s peers are, and accepting that they may not always be the children of our own peers can be uncomfortable. But discomfort and pushing the boundaries and taking risks is the only way real progress is made. If we think about what it must have been like for our own parents, many of whom were born in segregated America, to see how truly integrated our schooling was, they certainly must had feelings of discomfort or maybe even distrust.
But that need not be passed down to the kids. Kids simply adapt to the situation they find themselves in and assume it is the norm. I didn’t know that my school experience was unusual or cutting-edge when I was in it, especially not at the elementary level. It simply was what it was. I thought everybody everywhere sat in a classroom that was half black and half white. I distinctly remember being stunned to learn how recently the civil rights movement and forced bussing had been to my own life. To me, that kind of legal segregation seemed like ancient history.
Not that we had reached a racial utopia. We had not and still have not. And this is the very reason we need to send our kids forth into this big and sometimes scary world and let them take the next steps. Let us let our children lead us to a better and more integrated and more tolerant society. We can’t just pat ourselves on the back because we voted for Barack Obama and think the struggle is over; we have not yet achieved that post-racial America of which he speaks. And we also can’t just shake our heads and say, “Wow, this really isn’t working, count me out.” We need to step into the ring — or allow our kids to step into the ring — and actually create positive societal changes.
I don’t mean for that to sound like I am sacrificing my kids, or their education, for some idealistic greater good. Quite the opposite, I believe I am giving them a gift by raising them (and educating them) in this unique community. I believe they will be better people because of it.
Cleveland Heights and the CH-UH schools have not gotten everything right, I know that. But I am not yet ready to give up on this great experiment.
Both of my children have now graduated from CH-UH schools. They are huge advocates of the school system. My husband and I have always been advocates of public schools so it’s no surprise that our children went to public schools.
The best thing my children got from their Heights experience is a cross cultural experience. As we watch our children interact with peers (groups of African American and Caucasian) we are amazed at how comfortable they are with different cultural styles, language, etc. They are far more prepared for a multicultural world than we are after living in international settings for 4 years.
My concern for the school system’s success (at least at the high school level) is not about having an academic program for the excelling student. That is well established at Heights. Rather it is for the average student. It turns out that those kids are the ones getting lost. The AP classes are often just plain too difficult for them. The college prep classes are not really college prep and therefore too easy. This creates a huge academic problem and I’m concerned for this group of the student population.
That is such a good point, Sharon, and one I’ve heard many times from many families. CH-UH successfully offers classes and programs for super-bright kids as well as those who are truly struggling. My own brother went to Heights only for his freshman year (more than a decade after the other three of us had graduated) and, while he’s very bright, he was not terribly motivated and did not thrive in that environment. After transferring to Gilmour, he did much better academically and felt like he had found his place. I realize everyone is different and every child’s individual needs must be considered, but am still bothered (as you are, I imagine), by families who say they “wish” they could use the public schools, BUT…….
Yes, I really wish something could be done about the gap but I’m afraid there is just not much hope for that in the current environment. But I do think it hurts the school system to have that gap (not to mention the students who fall in there)
I did an observation at Fairfax elementary last year and was made aware of a couple of things. Firstly, many children looked at me as though I were a unicorn or something. I asked the teacher what the looks could have meant and his response was, “these kids don’t have black males in their lives as parents or teachers.” Therefore seeing a black male observe in their classroom was a really big deal to them. This hit me hard. I couldn’t imagine not growing up with my dad in my life. I can only begin to guess at how difficult it must be for some of these kids.
The other interesting tidbit I picked up during my observation had to do with the nature of CH-UH versus when you and I attended the schools. A much larger percentage of children have migrated into the system later. When we went to Heights, a larger proportion of the students had attended CH-UH schools since kindergarten. I was a transplant from Shaker in the 8th grade but imagine a kid who has moved multiple times to multiple school districts by the time they are in the 3rd grade. The academic cohesion that we experienced is slowly degrading. This I think makes it very difficult to create a curriculum that caters to the ever growing areas of opportunity that students need to succeed. These deficits in learning are getting harder to predict.
I am torn as a parent. I am a product of public schools whereas my ex-wife is the product of private schools. While I want to fight the good fight I am not sure I want to do it at the expense of my kiddo. I think more like you do Krissy in that intellectual peers, as an object lesson, has far more value than demographic peers. I think that there are stronger academic similarities that are probably being lost in the public schools because of the transient nature of people trying to do the best for their kids by moving from one school district to another. The reality may be that they would do their children a better service by staying in one place long enough for the cumulative effects of a district’s pedagogy to transpire.