We had Braedan’s first official school conference yesterday and, among other glowing compliments, his teacher said he is one of the happiest children she has ever known. “Always happy and always positive,” were her words.

Through my years as a classroom teacher,  I have glimpsed the inner lives of many different types of children, each with their various strengths and weaknesses, each with their own individual comforts or struggles, and I always knew that I would most want to parent a child who was the happiest and the nicest over one who was the smartest. And trust me when I say they are rarely the same child! Many happy and kind children are also very bright and very conscientious students, as I know Braedan also is, but I don’t think I ever had a class where the very smartest kid was also the nicest, most well-adjusted, or well-liked child.

So I am thrilled that my boy is so happy and that he both likes and is liked by his teachers and classmates. And, man, I hope it stays that way.

We talked with him the other night about the possibility (probability) that Austin’s cancer has returned and what that might mean for us all. I told him, as we have many times before, about all the emotions he might feel — anger and jealousy and sadness and fear and maybe, just maybe, abandonment — and how okay they all are and how open we are to hearing about them. We talked a little bit about dialysis and when I mentioned that Austin wouldn’t pee for two years, Braedan, like any typical almost-six-year-old boy, dropped his jaw and said, “But will he still … poop?”

After explaining how a kidney works (in my best kindergarten language) I said that Austin wouldn’t be allowed to drink very much and my sweet Braedan said, “But won’t he be thirsty?”  Oh yes, Little B, oh yes. And later, I cautioned that we hadn’t yet told Austin any of this and he said, with great conviction, “Oh, I don’t think you should.” I agreed, offering up what Braedan could already sense, that it was too vague and too scary for Austin to have to hear before we know if it is really happening.

So we will move forward from today with these images of our two children, happy and kind and able and good, and will carry that as our goal.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Goofy

0 replies
  1. Barbara
    Barbara says:

    You are doing everything right. You are the best parents Braedan and Austin could ever have. You are teaching them the most important things in life, and that’s what matters most. Whatever happens from this point forward – you can have solace in knowing that you are doing everything right – and whatever path you must follow, you will follow. Whatever this “thing” is in Austin’s kidney – it’s there – it cannot be changed – but who knows if it will even be there on the next scan. Stranger things have happened. Whatever needs to be done will be done – just one foot in front of the other – getting through this one day at a time – and on to the next day and the next ….

    Barbara

    Reply
  2. Brenna
    Brenna says:

    You guys are really amazing. I’m thankful that Thalia gets to be good buddies with the happiest, most positive kid in the class! Keeping you in my thoughts over the next few weeks.

    Reply

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