Popping Up
You know how once you start thinking hard about something, it seems to pop up everywhere?
Well, this kindergarten things seems to be popping up everywhere. Yesterday, I read this article from a recent Newsweek, which focuses on parents who hold their kids back from kindergarten (often upon the recommendation of the private schools to which they’re applying) in order to give them an advantage over their classmates, particularly when it comes to standardized test scores. Reading stories like that make me absolutely want to send Austin “early” (on time) because I find it so frustrating that parents constantly push their kids to be the best best best.
Then today I read this (worth your time, I promise), not specifically about kindergarten but just about how we’ve turned childhood into some kind of race, a massive competition between the super-successful and those lagging behind, and about how we should return to a time when kids were allowed to be kids for as long as possible. It made me second guess sending him for a completely new reason, one that only a few people have mentioned thus far. Everyone keeps talking about how holding him back will give him advantages later — in his schooling, in his social life, in his future. And so much of it smacks of having advantages over others — being the best, the brightest, the oldest.
But this little essay made me think about the advantage of just letting him be a kid, right now, less stress, less structure, fewer expectations, for an entire extra year. Like a freebie. Here, little Austin, you’ve had to do lots of grown-up things already (way too many way too grown-up things; you should hear my four-year-old talk about “bwood pwessure cuffs”), so here, take a break. Stay in preschool, build fantastic vehicles out of popsicle sticks, run on the playground, sing songs and do kiddie yoga, don’t fret your pretty little head about phonemic awareness and SmartBoards and Mandarin Chinese.
I’m not so concerned about my kids having advantages over other kids (although admittedly they do — parents who’ve read to them incessantly since birth being chief among them). But I am certainly all about them enjoying the advantages of well-rounded, old-fashioned childhood — freedom and exploration and creativity and self-expression.
Hmmmm, back to the drawing board.
For cryin’ out loud…. Get two pieces of paper. Put “send him earlier”
on one and “send him later” on the other. Fold them up and throw them in a hat. Close your eyes and pick one. It’s that easy.!!! Don’t make yourself sick over this!!! He will be fine EITHER way!!!!!!! Take the pressure off yourself and enjoy life! Whew!!!
Another viewpoint (and I am not a big commenter)… it may not be about preparing your child to be better than other children, it may be about giving him/her the best chance for success. Many families are worried about their childrens’ financial futures, and therefore the choices they make for their children are made to help position them for greatest academic success and (hopefully) greatest financial stability in the future. With that worry weighing on the shoulders of parents, I can understand why parents choose to hold back their kids in kindergarten if someone, somewhere provides evidence that doing so could give their kids an academic edge. With that said, I would agree that to push children too hard is also a mistake – a childhood without creativity and play can be detrimental to overall success. So, it’s a balance and a choice made by considering all options, and priorities will be different for different families who are living with different life circumstances.