The Worth of Words
I know you all want to help. Every day, many times every day, people lament to me that they feel as if they’re just not doing enough. You beg for tasks needing completion or take my packages to the post office when you weren’t really planning on going (despite saying you were). You go quietly to my third floor to wrap my Christmas presents or bake Braedan a beautifully decorated basketball cake. You send cards and food, well-wishes and hand crafted stars from all across the country.
It is all lovely and it makes us feel loved. It does not, however, change what is happening. Nothing that any of you can do or send or bake or buy can change what is happening. You certainly make it easier, don’t get me wrong. And it is definitely appreciated. You make our lives more manageable and less stressful by providing us with our basic needs and many many of our not-so-basic needs. And I know, because I too have watched families go through this struggle, that it makes you feel better to help in some small way.
The small way that helps me the most is the words that you give me in return for the words that I give you. I read every email message and Facebook comment and blog comment you write, often many times over. You preface your words by saying you fear they’re not enough or you hope you don’t say the wrong thing or you wish you could do more. But those small tokens of love and encouragement, hope and support and well-placed (and much-needed) humor are enough.
Please know that I take your words and I carefully wrap them up and store them within me. And then I pull them out right when I need them most and they give me strength. Which, in turn, gives us all strength.
I have shown your writing to some people and they say you are a wonderful writer.
Krissy,
We are thinking of Austin, Braedan, you and Mark every day. Eleanor always asks how Austin is doing. We are praying (although not religious, we do believe in the power of prayer) every day. We have great hope for Austin’s recovery — to kick this cancer’s ass — and we will continue to send up good thoughts for all of you. We wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and hope with all our hearts that 2010 brings all of you continued strength and good news. Much Love. The Beards
Krissy-
As I have said before, your family is amazing. I know only what you write, but based on that, it is unimaginable the kind of love, support, nurturing, educating, learning, crying, laughing, etc. that goes on “behind the scenes”. I think of you guys daily and wait for updates.
I have shared some of your writing with my older daughters and I have a funny story for you. When I told them about Austin’s last surgery, I explained that one of the most important things that happens when he is out of surgery is that he pees. So, I put them to bed and reminded them to pray for Austin to be able to pee. Of course, at 5 and 7, they giggled and promised they would hope for that. When I informed them that Austin did in fact pee, Makenze (my 7 year old) shouted at the top of lungs “YIPEE!! Get it mom YI PEE…PEE…PEE!!!!! Yay Austin pee’d!!!”
I am happy that Austin is home for Christmas!!!
Krissy, it is a gift that you are so good with words. I copied several excerpts from your blog and sent them to Nina Pollock, Carol Eyre’s friend. She responded that your blog is “powerful.” It is. Nina is one who has written me an email every week for the last 15 months, and the steadfastness really sustained me. Her “powerful,” to me, was powerful.
I have said that Whitney had written the equivalent of a novel a year for almost 40 years of 3 page personalized letters promoting 100 students to competitive colleges. Your writing about Austin’s resilience resonates powerfully with the two of us, who have been immersed in writing of the best in an individual youth. Austin is living large through your words.
Georgia
Krissy, your Dad told me of your blog only yesterday morning and I have read backwards through to September. A friend wrote me of bad medical news about a brother, “Life does deal difficult cards, doesn’t it, and there is no choice but to carry on and try to gain wisdom from difficult times.” I have saved the card, and I type from it. You exemplify wisdom, and have transmitted it to your children. It showed when Braeden said not to tell Austin yet, a balance of what should be when is wisdom. Georgia
Krissy, I am constantly amazed at your strength and resilience. Just know that we are thinking about your family and sending as many good thoughts your way as possible.
Jen Roth
Dear Krissy:
It is funny how you say that the words of everyone help you in these hard
days, while your very powerful and emotional words make me cry, laugh,
feel sad, compassionate, etc….. You have such an ability to paint a picture
with your words that enable all of us to be right there with you. You are an
amazing woman and an amazing mother!!! Whenever I read your blog, I
think about your mom. Of course, as a mother and grandmother, I relate to
her most. She obviously did an amazing job raising you, and continues to be
a rock for you and your family today. I know her heart has to ache constantly. When my daughter is in pain, I am in intense pain and want to fix
everything, but I know that I can’t. Happy holiday’s to all of you, you are a
powerful example to me of a united and together front!!! Keep it up! Love, Bev
Krissy, you’re really a great writer. I’ve recommended your blog to more than one person I know. I don’t know if they’ll read or not, because sometimes people try to avoid things that scare them. But, I know a lot of people who write for fun, for release, and one or two who write for (not much) profit, and they appreciate good writing whatever the source. And personally, I love reading your blog even when it hits me in the stomach.
Merry Christmas.
Krissy, I answered your question about Abby’s chemo under “The plan” entry. Barb
Krissy-Your strength is an inspiration! Thought you might like to know the most popular song at our house right now is “We wish Austin well.” Aubrey has been singing it non-stop(at the top of her lungs), along with Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. Austin is in our prayers each night and you are in mine. A mother’s love is an amazing gift! Austin is SO fortunate to have yours. Merry Christmas!